Inbox;

[deadelfwalking]

 

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO

 

"Leave a message, if you must."

image from obliterating <3

Comments

[totallytrustworthy]

I know you can hear me.

[totallytrustworthy]

You don't sleep, either-- not unless you're Dracula. So don't even think of trying to use that excuse.

[totallytrustworthy]

Pick up already.

[deadelfwalking]

What do you want, woman?

[totallytrustworthy]

I want to know when I'll be getting that payment that I'm owed.

[deadelfwalking]

Come to the lake if you want it.

[totallytrustworthy]

That sounds a bit ominous, doesn't it?

Are you always this charming?

[deadelfwalking]

I am significantly more charming to women who do not phone me on this infernal device multiple times in rapid succession.

[totallytrustworthy]

What a coincidence. I'm significantly less likely to repeatedly call clients that pay.

[deadelfwalking]

Do not insult my honor. As I told you, I left my belongings here, therefore you must come here if you want the gold.

[totallytrustworthy]

Guess I haven't got much of a choice, then, do I?

When's a good time to drop in?

[deadelfwalking]

Several days from now. I am still cutting down lumber, and it is somewhat dangerous to be in the vicinity at present. [trees fallin' everywhere etc.]

[totallytrustworthy]

You're serious, aren't you? My god, I think you might actually be the most peculiar man I've ever met.

[deadelfwalking]

[YOU CAN'T SEE BUT HIS EARS ARE HELLA PRESSED AGAINST HIS HEAD AT THAT COMMENT.] What do you mean, exactly?

[totallytrustworthy]

Usually the walking dead-- you know-- brood, write sad poetry, sit alone, staring off into the middle-distance.

But you, you're a bloody lumberjack in your spare time. Bit ridiculous, isn't it?

[deadelfwalking]

I can safely say that I have never written a line of poetry in my life. [or unlife. any time. EVER. He curls his lip, which is obvious in his tone.] What is ridiculous about building a shelter for yourself?

[totallytrustworthy]

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Though it does make you sound like a more of a creepy serial killer. Living off alone in the woods...

Not that you care about appearances or anything.

[deadelfwalking]

[SCOWLS. HE JUST. HATES EVERYONE. ALL OF YOU ARE THE WORST.]

What.

[totallytrustworthy]

[She catches that. If she was both blind and deaf she'd catch it. If she was a billion miles away, she'd catch that. That is some seething anger right there.]

Appearances, Koltira. Appearances. You're the one saying everyone here thinks the worst of you, right? Well, I'm trying to help you out.

[deadelfwalking]

They can think what they want. I am who I am, and I can be no one else. I will not create a facade for anyone.

[totallytrustworthy]

It's not a-- [There's a sigh on the other end of the line; she's got her face in her hands. You're worse than sunshine ever was.]

It's not a facade, it's an impression. You know, what normal people use to operate in polite society.

[deadelfwalking]

I know very well what you mean. My own people were--and remain--obsessed with such things. I, however, am not. Besides which, I am doing this for everyone's safety--for their comfort!

[totallytrustworthy]

You don't have to be obsessed to put in at least a little effort. You do remember how to do that, don't you?

[deadelfwalking]

What are you expecting of me, then? [so frustrated. going to jump into the ocean.]

[totallytrustworthy]

A little courtesy might be nice. Not just for me-- for everyone. Catch more flies with honey and all that.

Might even make a few of them reconsider their ridiculous assumptions.